{"id":5824,"date":"2022-02-18T04:02:17","date_gmt":"2022-02-18T03:02:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sofasexologique.com\/what-kind-of-sex-is-worth-wanting\/"},"modified":"2023-01-30T19:11:07","modified_gmt":"2023-01-30T18:11:07","slug":"what-kind-of-sex-is-worth-wanting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sofasexologique.com\/en\/what-kind-of-sex-is-worth-wanting\/","title":{"rendered":"What kind of sex is worth wanting?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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The following is an excerpt of the book Come as you are by Emily Nagoski. <\/span><\/p>\n

“Peggy Kleinplatz is a sex therapist and researcher who have spent years studying people who describe their sex life as extraordinary. <\/span><\/p>\n

These people from every background imaginable, every sexual orientation, and every gender identity; some are kinky, some are vanilla, some are monogamous, some are not. They are many different ages, with different health statuses and different bodies. What they share is an inspiring capacity to access a sense of connection and pleasure through sexuality. The results of the re search are described in Magnificent Sex, coauthored by Peggy Kleinplatz and Dana M\u00e9nard. <\/span><\/p>\n

They report that people who have these “Optimal Sexual Experiences” describe it with these eight major components:<\/span><\/p>\n

Being present, focused, and embodied. <\/span><\/h5>\n

This is the experience of slowing down, letting go of distractions and inhibitions, and paying attention to what’s happening right now, to the exclusion of everything else.<\/span><\/p>\n

Connection, alignment, merger, being in sync. <\/span><\/h5>\n

Feeling aligned with your partner was described by many participants as essential to extraordinary sex. Deep sexual and erotic intimacy. Not just during sex, but in the whole relationship, these folks felt deep mutual respect, genuine acceptance and caring, and a deep and penetrating trust with their partners.<\/span><\/p>\n

Extraordinary communication, heightened empathy. <\/span><\/h5>\n

Extraordinary lovers are also, necessarily, extraordinary communicators, which means they are extraordinarily empathic, tuned in to their partners’ inner worlds.<\/span><\/p>\n

Authenticity, being genuine, uninhibited, transparency. <\/span><\/h5>\n

Extraordinary sex involves emotional nakedness and a shame-free expression of sexual pleasures and desires, which usually requires going through a process of rejecting the sexual scripts and “shoulds” we’re raised with.<\/span><\/p>\n

Transcendence, bliss, peace, transformation, healing. <\/span><\/h5>\n

Yes, extraordinary sex can include feeling like you’re melting into the universe and connecting with the divine in a way that changes you, heals you, and truly makes your life and relationship better. When our daily lives require a lot of boundary setting, our sex lives are transformed when we are willing and able to dissolve our boundaries with a trusted partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

Exploration, interpersonal risk-taking, fun. <\/span><\/h5>\n

This is much like the “ludic factors” from chapter 3 – the context of play, curious investigation, discovery, experimentation, creativity, and laughter.<\/span><\/p>\n

Vulnerability and surrender. <\/span><\/h5>\n

Extraordinary sex is also characterized by profound trust, with nothing held back from partners, where your authentic self is received by someone else as a cherished gift.”<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Work Cited<\/span><\/p>\n

Nagoski, Emily. <\/span>Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life<\/span><\/i>. Simon & Schuster, 2021.<\/span><\/p>\n

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How do you define an awesome sex life? Find out what two researchers and their team concluded. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5825,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat kind of sex is worth wanting? - Sofa Sexologique<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How do you define an awesome sex life? 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